Today, I tried something new: I organized my very first online ‘event.’ I knew things weren’t going to go perfectly and I was actually pretty nervous. Even before the event started, I knew that this was a good thing, though. 

Creating and being nervous go hand in hand. Creating is, imo,  all about getting out  of your comfort zone. One of the things I often experience after getting out of my comfort zone is what I call a ‘vulnerability hangover.’ 

What do I mean by that? After I do something new, or share something personal or really let myself be seen, I often get this feeling of dread immediately after. I start questioning myself and start listing all the mistakes I (might have) made. 

After 5 years of creating every single day, I still have these vulnerability hangovers. It seems they will never go away. But I can deal with them a LOT better. I recognize them for what they are: a part of the process of being vulnerable. And there is no creativity without vulnerability. 

In the past, I might have tried to minimize my vulnerability retroactively. I might have added some text to an episode or a recorded video saying it didn’t work out as well as I wanted it to, or that the audio was crap, or… Anything to show the world that I already know what is wrong with whatever I just shared, you know?

Not anymore, though. I am learning to just sit in that moment of vulnerability and be okay with things not being perfect. I can easily list what I learned from a creative experience without beating myself up over the mistakes I made.

I’ll be honest: it took me years to get to this point. I’m not sure if it’s just me getting older (and a little bit wiser) or me being an experienced creator now. Most likely, it’s both. I guess the bad news is that these hangsover don’t go away. The good news, though? You learn how to use them. 💜